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Blog

The Gift of Pain

Rachel Rubin

Pain is the driving force for us as humans. We are wired with this self destructive thought and behavior process that tends to control our existence. In recognizing the play of this crazy game we can channel the grace that lies within it.

When we think of pain either we can place blame on a specific cause or we sense an overwhelming feeling that comes from some form of lack or suppression that we can't quite identify. I learned that there are four types of pain playing out in our human lives.

The obvious one that we all use to create the illusion of making life easier is the avoidance of pain. We believe that if we do not acknowledge the hurt we feel somewhere inside that we can pretend it does not exist. Actually what we are really doing is shoving it down. Layer upon layer building up thick, unexpressed suppressed emotion. Remember again that this is only natural. One way of our dealing. Imagine though that by gently and courageously bringing our attention to these layers, we melt them away. Strip them one by one, uncovering what could be that flowing water under all the rigid rocks and dirt. Bringing your awareness to the pain to actually free yourself from it. Acknowledging its presence. All of a sudden then having a sense of clarity around it. Not holding onto it. Not letting it define you. Just saying Hi I acknowledge you as part of my existence or past and I can visit you now and then but you are not me. You are just a building block to the story I am writing. I needed you to be where I am now. I can learn from the hurt I felt from you. I can be with that pain, to know and express my feelings around it. And for it to be ok to do so. To release that built up energy around the stuffing of pain is incredibly freeing. And the truth is you can not feel that unless you feel the pain. So think of it this way, in order to feel the freedom from the pain you have to be present with it.

Another way we deal with pain is to try to manage it. This is the trick of the intelligent mind. Trying to be our protector but instead being our destructor. We like to situationally talk ourselves out of feeling whatever it is that seems too much to bear. For example if you hate your job you may say “well at least I have a job and I make x amount of dollars”. When actually you are miserable and your stress is unbearable surrounding it but you attempt to manage that underlying feeling that you know you need change. The trick of the mind is that it makes us believe that it is easier to stay in our managed misery than it is to obstruct our current patterns. The truth however is that by acknowledging this and being with it we can free ourselves from that pattern. The change is actually liberating to the self. Freeing of the stress and cause of the pain. The self now has the space to find what it is that is more agreeable and fulfilling for your highest functioning.

More prevalent now in our society of competition and comparison is our pain existing in form as not enough progress. We live in the future or outside of ourselves in what we believe should be our lives now. This lack of living in the present genuinely causes pain in people. Our culture is one of immediate and outward gratification that we lose the safety and beauty of being who we are and where we are in life at the present moment. Imagine that by consistently acknowledging the what is and assuring yourself that all will play out as it should as long as you have focus on your true desired outcome, could melt away the pain around the illusion of progress. The love that lies in real time. In acceptance of now.

The last type of pain is tricky for most of us. It is the pain in not knowing your purpose. Again society has impacted this pain heavily. Our culture complicates our precious existence. The truth to purpose is in love. Of yourself and others. In honoring yourself in the now and honoring our connectedness as one. Thus purpose being a loving light that shines for yourself and those around you. Emitting your vibration onto this planet of one thats positive and productive for the collective in whatever form that is right for you. Whether it's being a loving mother to your children or saving the whales. Serving your simple yet sound purpose that resonates with your deepest knowing will beautifully release the pressure of performing in a way that is not aligned with your true self. Have the trust in your soul that it will guide you and reveal to you what it is you are here on this planet to contribute. Sit with it and allow it to be what is.

So keep this remembrance with you when you feel pain in whatever form – What has been repressed will eventually need to be expressed. Our consciousness is conditioned with life experience so whatever it is that causes the pain will actually not go away until we acknowledge it. Shift your awareness to it and just allow yourself to be present with it. That will then shift its presence in your life from that of past pain to that of a present and even greater future gift.